Cop/paste: 3.24.06 - 4.21.06

April 21, 2006 - Friday it's been a while Today marks the 7th year anniversary of the converstaion that changed my life. It was 7 years ago today that I was having a conversation with two people about the Columbine massacre that had occurred the day before. Its amazing how much of my life has changed since that day, and I thank God for it everyday. Though I'm not sure that the other two who I was in converstaion with had any clue what was going on within me, their responses opened a flood gate of questions and started my hard seeking for God, the only one I knew who could answer me. And when I knocked, He answered. When I sought I found. And when I truly tasted and truly saw I knew it was good. Currently listening : Pretend You're Alive By Lovedrug Release date: 27 July, 2004 9:29 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

April 20, 2006 - Thursday a new journal Today i started writing in my brand new journal. In the past 6 years, i ahve filled 4 journals with my thoughts, prayers, adventures and mishaps. it's amazing how much has transpired in while logging away on those pages. Full pages of life, which I can look back through and see where God has brought me. While I was writing my first entry, it came into my mind that it was really God who urged me towards journaling. I'm writing kind of a new testament in good gospel fashion (in hoping of not soudning blasphemous, please just continue reading). You see, a good gospel would tell of the writer's encounter with Christ, their reaction to Christ and how Christ really have changed their lives and the lives of those who encounter Him. Well, since my black journal (they all have different colours) I am really writing all these thigns. And I continue to write because, well, God is done with me yet. Maybe when I am done, someone will be able to read from it and learn. Or at least, avoid the smae pitfalls I encountered. 10:59 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

April 14, 2006 - Friday Good Friday Today is a day like any other day. Josephus doesn't even point out anything particular about today. It was just a day that meant nothing to a lot of people. But to a few it meant something. And to one person it meant "It is finished." Today is my New Year's. It is a day for me to really think about the past year and see where I've come. Since last Easter my daughter has been alive for a full year and we have concieved again. My wife and I have had a great year. Relationships I've had with some have been mended and others have been made stronger. But where am I? I am looking for so much that can really only be met by me at the cross. For here I find meaning and truth, and purpose. Whatever I am slave to defines my freedom. If I am enslaved to anything, I am free in nothing. My hand can only move so far from where my leg is bound. And here I am at the base again, looking up and at the one I call king crucified. I take Him down and bury Him in my grave. Tomorrow is the longest day of the year, I believe. Will He come back? Will I ever see Him again? The questions linger and does not help my unbelief. I have the fortunacy of hindsight. I know my redeemer lives. Even as I walked through the stations tonight, I knew He lives. But do I really act that way? Is my confidence and are my words such that there is never a doubt as to that fact? Father, I hope so. May this New Year be a blessing to Your name. 11:03 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

April 13, 2006 - Thursday Girl's names So, we've decided, and yet our indecision still stands. Here, again, for those that forgot, is the name of our child due in Oct if it is a boy: Ewan Warwick Davidson Fuller Strong and sure we are of this. And after much hmmming and hahing, we have come down to two names for girls: Lillian Eilleen Ashlyn Fuller or Teagan Grace Ashlyn Fuller So, I guess now is the time to cast your vote... it would seem everyone has an opinion, which they are entitled to. The important thing is that we have a boy. I mean, that we all get along no matter what name we were to choose. 11:35 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

April 12, 2006 - Wednesday It;'s not luck So, last night I ahd an incredible night at work. Since leaving my post as bartender at the Robin, God has just continually blessed me at the Robin. I make a large amount of money everytime I work in the short time I am on the clock.. usally 2-3 times more than others who ahve been on the same amount of time I have been on. It';s just been incredible. God assurred me that I wouldn;t have to worry about money, and He has been so faithful. But, here is the rub. Would I still sing His praises if I wasn't? I eman, what if I wasn't making this amount the nights I work? Wold be wondering where He is instead? In all actuality, I wnat to say, Yes, I would. I do nothing on my own, and every good and perfect gift comes from Him. No matter how much i make, its all from Him and its more than I had when I walked in the door. So, thank You, Father. For all Your blessings. 9:34 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

April 10, 2006 - Monday The Stations of the Cross For all you kids in the Harrisburg area, this friday night there will be a showing of the Stations of the Cross at my church, Devonshire Church. All are welcome. it starts at 7:30 pm and the doors close at 9pm. you walk through at your own pace and you experience each station individually. It's really cool. We did it last year and had a great turn out. I will be showing two paintings this year, as well as one poem. I put the poem below to hopefully pique your interest. Its an amazing night, and I hope to see you all there! To be read aloud You were resolved but could you watch As CLANG hammer hit nail head? Did you THUD flinch as nail hit notch Or THUD strain as wood turned red? Sear-THUD-ing pain from now bruis'd back THUD What are your thoughts? Can you THUD Even hear your thoughts as THUD CRACK Eyes are covered with S T R A I N blood? Steel through flesh, cold as THUD hearts Who look down upon crea-CLANG-tor Mangled; who devised THUD such arts, Atrocities? Sustain-THUD-er How much of this cup will you fill? Still here I hear "Not my Will". Currently listening : Town Hall, New York City, June 22, 1945 By Dizzy Gillespie Release date: 21 June, 2005 10:27 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

April 7, 2006 - Friday I feel like Adam So, we are trying to name our child. If it's a boy, we already got it... (sit down now if you are not already)... Ewan Warwick Davidson Fuller. Girl's names though are giving me, at least, a bit of a headache. Claire was realy the only name we could agree on. I'm glad we did, its a gerat name and suits are daughter great. you look at her and say to yourself, "Yes, I can see it. She looks like a Claire. And the meaning is nice... "clear". (Ewan means "lamb of God", by the way). But new names are hard on us. examples: I like Helen, or even Helena (keep the My Chemical Romance jokes to yourself), adn she likes Ellen. She likes Anya, I like Alice. I also like, Susan, June, and Lucy. She likes Grace. Now, don;t get me wrong if your name is Grace or Ellen, or Anya, those are great names. Just not great names for my daughter, if we have a daughter, which I am ok with. We have tentatively called a truce on Lillianne. I would prefer Lily, but what can you do? I think Apple would be a great name, as well as Cumquat. But, you see, I think thats the problem. How can someone be respected when they like both Alice and Apple? Any other good names out there? My daughter is a rocker! Currently reading : Cool Names: for Babies By Pamela Redmond Satran Release date: 07 August, 2003 8:08 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

April 6, 2006 - Thursday All I want is turkish delight.... So, Edmund wants turkish delight. Granted it is enchanted and the more you eat the more you want, even to the point of it killing you. But he wants it. Desires it. Even before the Witch gives it to him, it is what he wants. Little known fact, Lewis did not make up the word "Aslan". In fact it's been around for centuries. It is turkish for "lion". Maybe you can already see where I'm going with this. Edmund's desires are no different than our own. Before we think we want the desire of our hearts, God is already calling out to us (Wesley called this prevenient grace). Christ is the desire of our lives and our hearts, and until we can put a proper name to it we fill this desire with lusts of the flesh... fixes that just get us by. But for Edmund there really is only one real Turkish Delight, and that is Aslan. Currently reading : The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (Full-Color Collector's Edition) By C. S. Lewis Release date: 30 September, 2000 9:24 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

April 5, 2006 - Wednesday What Lucy found there I'm re-re-re-reading The Chronicles of Narnia. This is now my second time this year alone. I'm not obsessed, these are just great stories and everytime I read them I am amazed at what I missed the first couple of times, or by what I forgot. I do this a lot. We're not the richest kids in the world, so I've decided to stop buying books for awhile and just re-read what I do own. I forget much more than I actually read. This goes with the Bible, too. Our church challenged us to read the Bible in a year. So I am, but this is not the first time i've read the whole Bible. But I am amazed what I am reminded of, and what I missed on several goes. And we're told to "hide God's Word in our hearts", adn to meditate on it day and night. That such actions cause right living and blessings. I think just being reminded of God's faithfulness has the same affect. And that is what I've been reminded of lately. He is faithful to His word, in both when He promises rewards, and punishments. He is faithful. 4:25 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

April 4, 2006 - Tuesday Thinkin more and more 'The intention to be formed is to have the great God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ a constant presence in our mind, crowding out every false idea or destructive image, all misinformation about god, and every crooked inference or belief." -Dallas Willard, Renovation of the Heart, p112 I was asked today by someone if I loved church. If I didn't think it was boring. I was asked because it got let out I'm going to be a pastor... its not so mucha secret as some are just generally surprised. To me the question is odd. And this is why: you generally listen to the radio station that plays the variety of music you like. You ahve no problem making friends with similar interests. If you want to play the guitar you don;t go get piano lessons. So, seeing as the church, the family of believers instituted by Christ, is the place designed to encourage you in your belief, and it is a believe I had some hand in choosing to believe, why is it such an odd thing that I go and enjoy going to church? All my friends go there. Its where I am encouraged in my walk. And if my life is focused on God why not the place He started and saidd he'd be? I think even more amazing to me is the fact that this was asked by a close friend of someone who goes to my church; they were sitting right across from them. Why ask me? Their friend goes to church with me. Why not aske them? Or, maybe they don't know. Maybe, thats the real odd part of the conversation. 10:31 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

April 1, 2006 - Saturday No Foolin' So, realising that today is April Fool's Day is so important. You want to be aware of these kind of days for your own safety, really. Today used to be the beginning of the new year for several people groups around the world. It is still in Spring that Jews celebrate the first month of Nissan. For others it was a time when the earth finally woke up from it's long winter nap. And we all know what a new year is for... resolutions! So, here we are half way trhough the lenten season, some are trying to be better until Easter, adn some are trying to make a lifetime of change in 40 days. I started with some fasting, and ended with some assurrance. But I haven't really "changed" anything for the sake of 40 days. There are lots of thigns I'd like to be different, but these things call for me to persevere for the rest of my life. And no, I probably won;t be playing any pranks today... I'm the kinda guy who can dish it out but can't take it in... so I err on the side of not doing anything so it doesn't get done to me. savy? Currently reading : Authentic Faith: The Power of a Fire-Tested Life By Gary Thomas Release date: 01 February, 2002 6:50 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

March 31, 2006 - Friday yeah, its gone I, because I have stuff comign up in the weeks to come, wnated to make sure that when those things come up I'd look good, or at least normal. So, I got my haircut. I didn;t do anythign drastic, but it was cut to make it look like the "in-between" stage. You know.. where things don;t quite look right, but you're holding your breath or pouring on the mane&tail in the hopes it's gonna be ok when its all done doing what it needs to do. And what better weather to get your hair cut in? It is absolutely gorgeous out there. So why am I in here? good question... I'm out. I promise a more insightful blog later on tonight. or at lest tomorrow. Currently listening : Friction, Baby By Better Than Ezra Release date: 13 August, 1996 1:26 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

March 30, 2006 - Thursday SOme good reading I am currently reading Gary Thomas's Authentic Faith, and am really enjoying his insights. Last night, though, I was struck by a quote from Gary Haugen, who is a worker for IJM and has seen a lot of autrocities in his life. I'm not gonna comment on it, because I think anything I could add would just detarct. Here is what he said in resonse to his trip to Rwanda to determine how masses of people were killed: "'If you wnat to know somebody,' he says, 'you want to know where they come from, what they've been through. And if you want to know what God is like, you need to know something about where He's been, I think it's hard for us living in comfortable North America communities to think that God has been in some of the places that he has been. Becasue that's one fo the hard things for me to think about: what it was like for God to endure all those people gatehred in these churches who clearly were crying out to Him in the midst [of being massacred]'" ... "'It's not a side issue, that his people address sufferring and injustice. It;s not one of those extra-credit options, that if you do everything else, then maybe you can do something on behalf of those who are victimized by the abuse of power. It's the thing that breaks [God's] heart. And then we have to ask, why is something that is so passionately important to god only mildly interesting to us?" Currently reading : Authentic Faith: The Power of a Fire-Tested Life By Gary Thomas Release date: 01 February, 2002 9:30 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

March 28, 2006 - Tuesday A Story A friend of mine, whom granted I have not talked to in a long time, but still consider friendly, wrote this "story", which I'm not sure if she knows it or not, is semi-autobiographical. She entitled it "A Story of a Girl". Well this got me thinkin', as good blogs do, about what the title of my auto-bio would be. I would rather hope that someone else would write it, I have a tendency to think that everything is very important. I wouldn;t wnat to use an inside joke for fear of making otehrs feel left out (take the "title" of my blog page... it references my poor typing ability which only a few really pick up on). I wouldn't use a song title, becuase well I'd hate to be sued or use the title incorrectly. hmmm... I could take a reference point form my life such as: "The Reader", or "Look at all teh jobs I've had!" I'd wnat it to be cool. Like "The Catcher in the Rye". Or "of Mice and Men." Maybe I'll pull an "East of Harrisburg". Most fot eh really good titles are taken, I agree. Hmmm... what about: "The Life & Times of Warwick". Or, "Not just a city" (get it? There are tons of towns and cities named Warwick, but how many poeple do you know? See, its not clever if I haev to explain it.) I have no clue. If I had a band, it would be called "ender", that I'm pretty sure of. An auto-bio... I have no clue. Currently reading : A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man (Penguin Classics) By James Joyce Release date: 25 March, 2003 11:17 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

March 24, 2006 - Friday Be Careful! "So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and in His good time He will honor you. Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares what happens to you." - 1 Peter 5:6,7 "in His good time" is a hard thing to wrestle with. When we say someone is taking their good sweet time, it usually has more to do with unwillingness or laziness. Its hard to wait for someone who you know is dawdling, or slacking on their responsibility. Its not so with God. He just knows better than we do. But it's still hard. But what can we do while we're waiting and being humble? Well, I guess I could work on being and maintaining my humility. Not trying to rush God, or be God by my actions. And in true humility, not act as though my cares and worries are the center of my existence. If I am able to give them to God, then I can help my neighbour. I can focus on thier needs, and not so much on mine. Thats what I should be doing, anyway. The less I focus on myself, the more I can then love my neighbour. ANd while I am focused on them, the time will go quickly. I will not be watching for the clouds to break open, or the sky to be rolled back as a scroll. I'll be so busy helping and loving otehrs, sharing the messgae of the gospel in tangible ways, hey, I may even be shocked to see Christ! But really, I'd have been so focused on Him, it wouldn't be such a shock I imagine. I've had my eyes on Him the whole time. Currently listening : X&Y By Coldplay Release date: 07 June, 2005

yet more copy/paste to update...

March 23, 2006 - Thursday I have my first "real" job interview That's right! I sent out 8 resumes, and a church actually called me! Its a UM church in Benton, Louisiana, which is a little north of Shreveport. i head down teh weekend after Easter! It's amazing. Heather and I have been praying about this. It finally hit me today while I was talking to Derek that we are leaving Harrisburg. We're starting fresh. It's so exciting. Even if it's not this job, it will be one of them. The closest church I've applied to is in Mechanicsburg. The rest are all in other states...FL, MI, TN, LA, MD... Our whole idea of life is gonna change again. And God is faithful and true. So faithful. And so true. Currently listening : Ghosts By Sleeping at Last Release date: 07 October, 2003 11:51 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

March 21, 2006 - Tuesday avert your eyes, please This is a prayer between God and me, so if you could, please, just avert your eyes. Father, I thirst. For rain, for mountains, for green grass, for You to make things new. I thirst for days that need no sun, and all things are satisfied and satiated in You. We won't ask questions, but just be. With You. I thirst for You. Thanks & Amen Ok, you can look now. Thanks. Currently listening : Starfield By Starfield Release date: 18 May, 2004 10:52 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

March 20, 2006 - Monday "It came out of the sky!" My pastor was telling me this story this past weekend: He was driving his son home form school on a windy road on a windy day, when a thick branch fell out of the sky and hit his tire, then his mirror. I had asked him if it had scared him a bit, but it took him by surprise more. It came out of the sky. I am always held in wonder by thigns above. Clouds, stars, birds, how they stay up there.. its amazing. And the things that come out of the sky seem to take me by surprise the most. Snow, rain, lightning, birds, kites, falling limbs.. no one ever expects the things up there to come down here. Maybe thats really why we run for shelter when rain comes.. its just water, really. He came out of the sky. These are words I expect when we realise Christ has come back. But we shouldn;t really be taken by surprise, right? We were told, by Him and by others that this is what was going to happen, right? But we're also told its gonna take us by surprise. Currently listening : Final Straw By Snow Patrol Release date: 30 March, 2004 10:00 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

March 17, 2006 - Friday "When I get a bradn new, hair do..." Every morning, on weekdays, i wake to the sound of the hairdryer. Heather does her hair and make-up at teh vanity I bought her and put upstairs in the bedroom becasue our bathroom is too small for such things. But I roll over and see my daughter on my wife's lap. Claire is "doing" her hair or making faces in the mirror, or just chattering away while Heather is getting ready. It's so cool to see such things. It's beautiful and innocent. While the more cynical would say that my daughter is being taught gender traits that only confine and coerce, I say "to the pure all things are pure". Here is as it should be. It is beautiful. And no amount of makeup could cover up this beauty. Currently listening : Final Straw By Snow Patrol Release date: 30 March, 2004 9:50 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

March 15, 2006 - Wednesday Strong set of forearms Luke and I went out last night.. doo da doo da... Its not very often that I get to go hang out late at night. Usually I get home so late from work that I'm not able to do much except check my mail, maybe post a blog, and read. Woo hoo, captain excitement over here. But last night, Luke and I went out to paint the town several shades of Red... excluding all those shades that can be deemed pink, or salmon. Blood red. Yeah, thats what we wanted to do. Instead we went into this all night cafe on Cameron Street. There we met some interesting people, including a guy who looked like an overweight Smeagol... I kid you not. It was odd. While we sat there in this very well lit place, I was struck by the loneliness of it. Bright white walls and clean counters all shouted down how things were supposed to be but weren't. The waitress has two jobs and works close to 90 hrs a week, she says, yelling over the strains of old songs that only reinforce the longing she has not to work, but to be held by someone. "I don't want the world to see me, 'cause I don't think that they'd understand. When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am..." Sing it goo goo. Tell us more about who she is, or ratehr, who she'd rather be. Then we met this guy named Pap, a retired Federal Worker, who also used to be a janitor at the waitress's high school. How they found each other after all this time, I don't know. We never talked about that. Pap wanted to give Luke and I lessons about love. Luke decided, he told me on the car ride home, that if he did the exact opposite of everything Pap told us, he would be sure to have a great life and an excellent marriage. In each of Pap's questions, there was a longing for a connection. He had hopes that we would give him some mental image, or some reassurance to make him feel ok. That maybe he had lived his life the right way. His life was hard, and it was. He said he had a heart attack when he was 12. But after a partial life under his mom's overprotective eye, he lived it up hard core. A psychodelic rock band in the 60's, tons of drugs, and all the girls he wanted. A heart surgery, and a widower later, he just can't do those things any more that made him feel as though he was alive. Under the maudalin strains of unrequited love, we sat and listened, talked music, and laughed. Pap was looking for an ear. The waitress was looking for someone to share her burdens with. Luke and I were just looking for an out of the way spot, but I think a found a good reassurance to my calling. It says that Jesus felt compassion towards the people who were following him, and they were hungry for food of Heaven and of Earth, This mob wanted Jesus to be who He said He was. They wanted to be beyond satisfaction, they wanted to be above satiation. And He was moved with compassion. As I sat and listened to Pap and to the waitress, who I regreattably forgot her name, there was a part of me that just wanted to stand up and give him a hug. To let him know that I did care. I wonder how long it had been since anyone had done that? I wonder how long it had been since someone had walked up to our waitress and asked how she was really doing, not as a customer, but as someone with general concern. How long had it been? Currently listening : Dummy By Portishead Release date: 17 October, 1994 4:15 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

March 11, 2006 - Saturday Death and Taxes I was reading yesterday about the graves of craving. This refers to Numbers when God fed the Israelites with quail and then soem of them were struck dead.. There is something worse than death about standing before God, face-to-face, and telling Him that I chose everything else before Him. I craved after all these things, before I longed to know Him, to see Him, to feel His touch. These things are what I want more than life. & yet to know that I know this, but still choose other things a lot. Please don't think I'm begging, but, I'v noticed that my blog gets read quite a bit. Now a couple of days ago I mentioned that my wife and I are expecting. I do realise that some of you knew this, but not all of you. And for those of you that did find out via my blog, why no comment? no congratulations. Not even a blue mountain e-card. No. I know what you're thinking... I'l just do it now. Wel, it'd be better if you just called me or something. Come on people, this is a grand occasion! Put on your shoes and dance. Claire is becoming a big sister! Woo hoo! Currently listening : Abandon By Jason Morant Release date: 08 June, 2004 1:29 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

March 10, 2006 - Friday ever did ya think... I've been easily astounded stupefied by thinks i think I take for granted. Its these sayings that make you think and, make you stop to wonder... For instance: "Keep breathing." This is an action we take for granted, but did you ever really just stop to breathe? And really take notice? "Open up your eyes." We walk away in almost a daze. I think I can drive home with my eyes shut. Has that ever happened to you? You're driving, and you've been thinking about lots of otehrthings, and then you realise you are down the road, further than you expected? Your mind just kinda takes over, adn yet you don;t notice anything. So, I guess, open up your eyes. Amazing. I think God's really trying to show me something. Like He's writing with His finger on my brain. Trying to make me slow down and really take notice of my surroundings. Of the people there. They're not just scenery. Currently listening : If I Left the Zoo By Jars of Clay Release date: 09 November, 1999 12:08 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

March 8, 2006 - Wednesday we are not alone How amazing is the love of Christ? I stand in awe of it, and makes me sit and wonder. Here is this woman who is being dragged to the Temple, being caught in the act of adultery, by a mob of men who want to kill her. And Jesus the Christ starts writing in the dirt. This woman is expecting death for her actions, and gets doodles, lines drawn in the sand. The Creator playing with that which He made humanity out of. What is she thinking? Is this the end? No. Instead, we see the love of Christ. He no more wanted her blood shed than the mob to want it. They were not just thirsty for her blood, but His also. And He knew it. But He would not give it to them, yet. What He wanted was for them all to be different, to be who He created them to be. Forgiveness is such a blessing and shows the mercy and grace of our Father. While we were, are, continue to be sinners, He loves us despite of us. He wants us to be different, to be who He created us to be. He does not wnat us to be dragged into a court, or to be dragging others there. He longs for us to come running to Him, wanting Him more than all His gifts. He wants my all. And so I hear that beautiful refrain: "Into Marvelous Light I'm Running Out of darkness, out of shame..." Go, sin no more. Currently reading : The Complete Poetry and Selected Prose of John Donne (Modern Library Classics) By John Donne Release date: 14 August, 2001 11:30 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

March 6, 2006 - Monday I'm a dad... again! So, mark your calendars! We, as of right now, are expecting our new child to arrive on Oct. 13, which is a friday. Its amazing! We're having another baby! God has blessed us again, of course without us knowing about it. lol... I think half of the world know before Heather wanted them to because I can not keep a secret.. and this was awesome news! It's amazing! We're having another one of these: Of course, I would be happy with a boy, too. Maybe two boys. Last time I prayed for twin boys, I got one girl. 10:18 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

March 1, 2006 - Wednesday Ash Wednesday, baby "It's not a question of God 'sending' us to Hell. In each of us there is something growing up which will of itself be Hell unless it is nipped in the bud. The natter is serious: let us put ourselves in His hands at once- this very day, this hour." ~ C.S. Lewis "The Problem with X..." "You shall not wrong one another, but you shall fear your God, for I am the Lord your God." ~ Lev. 25:17 esv Through Lent, as I sit retrospect and truly ponder and seek my own repentance, I pray that God not transform, but transfigure - for He alone knows my capabilities and gifts because He gave them to me. He does not wnat me to become someone He did not create. He longs for the flower that will arise out of this particualr seed. And as I enter my lenten celebration, I will seek for a change in some things, and a re-affirmation to others. I winnowing down. Jesus coming in with righteous anger and overthrowing the tables that clutter my life, and throwing out the venders and bankers that bar my way from Him. I seek to love others as I am loved and not try to harp on their faults, because they are my own, as well. An extreme case of "the Plankeye". Become my first love, Father, again so I may love others for Your glory and renown. Become my voice so I may not sin against You. Lead me in Your ways and protect me for Your name's sake. Amen Currently reading : The Complete English Poems (Everyman's Library (Cloth)) By John Donne Release date: 15 October, 1991 12:37 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

February 28, 2006 - Tuesday Where are you running? When I was in Nashville with some of my friends for Passion '06, I was absolutely blown away by one of Charlie Hall's sings "Into Marvelous Light (I'm running)". Its just this amazing motivational song. It is so affriming about who we are and who God is! God is the Marvelous Light, and I chose a direction to Him. And I'm not walking.. no no... I'm running! 1 Peter 2:9 says, "But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light." (ESV) Currently listening : Flying into Daybreak By Charlie Hall Release date: 24 January, 2006 10:59 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

Bon Mardi Gras a tout mes amis! Well, so here we are at Mardi Gras, the day before Ash Wednesday marking teh 40 day lenten celebration before Easter. Having it this late in the year seems normal to me, not sure why. It just does. ANd what am i doing for Lent this year? Well, I'm not gonna tell. If you ask I may, but I'd as why. Its not becuase I'm proud of it. In fact, its a shameful thing to have to recognize a weakness then attack it for 40 days. But our Father has warned us that we need to be careful that when we fast from things, that we are to act as if everything is normal, that way our reward will truly be received. Every good and perfect gift... But I had an odd converstaion today with two co-workers at the Robin, and I was a bit, well, I dunno, annoyed, and a little weirded out by the thought that Mardi Gras has become such a base ritual for some. It really is no different for them than a regular odd tuesday, but this night now carries significance because it is the night of the Baccanal. Its weird. I equate it to a bit like partying on the tomb of Christ on that long saturday. Such sacrifice and meaning taken so lightly can only lead to taking nothing seriously. What do they take seriously? I find very little when we talk. Their goals are easy and so often met... get drunk and sleep around. Maybe not around, but with a chosen someone. I sometimes forget that I used to be like them. The severity of my laxity with God is amazing to me now. I can not take His gift lightly, nor His invitation. He did call me and love me first. Maybe this time, as I refelct on who I am and who God wants me to be for the next 40 days, I can help others to see Him more clearly than I see Him now. Currently listening : The Artist in the Ambulance By Thrice Release date: 22 July, 2003 12:13 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

February 25, 2006 - Saturday The shadow of God There is still brilliance in the shadow of God. We can still see the light, but can not feel its warmth. I think thats why its scary. 11:49 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

February 21, 2006 - Tuesday My daughter is older than soem things well, today my daughter, my first born, turns a year old! Its amazing. On one hand I can;t remember life before her, and on the other I remember it perfectly well. It's as if I see her in everything now. She is inseparable from my life in every aspect, and so all I do is caught up in her and I weigh what i do in how it affects her. My wife has had much this same affect on me. Is this something close to how God sees us? Can he remember a time before He created us and how does He feel about it? Are we so ingrained in this His plan, that we cannot be separated from it? Is this love lavished, or is He ever caught thinking, "How could I have ever been without?" Currently reading : Julius Caesar (Folger Shakespeare Library) By William Shakespeare Release date: 01 January, 2004 12:54 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

February 22, 2006 - Wednesday 21st So, today is my friend luke's 21st birthday... or it will be in about ten minutes. Does it seem weird to anyone else that I have a friend almost 5 eyars younger than I am? Does it seem wierd that this friend of mine missed a whole lot of important events, like Mr Hooper dying on Sesame Street? To some degree yes. But I won;t let his age or my stupidity come between the facts that he is a great guy and I care for him like a little brother. So... Happy Birthday, Luke, and many happy returns of the day. Don't forget to breathe. Send him a hello and good tides: http://www.myspace.com/ticketedpassengersonly Currently listening : X&Y By Coldplay Release date: 07 June, 2005 11:50 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove