Some more copy/paste for catch-up sake

February 18, 2006 - Saturday Birthday parties today we celebrated Claire's 1st birthday. Good times had by all. it's unreal to think that Claire has been around for a year. It seems just like yesterday that we brought her home. It seems just like yesterday that I was cathcing zzz's while Heather woke up for feedings. It seems like a week ago that we brought her home. It's weird. I always think that time goes fast for me, and rarely think of anyone lese but timeless. My friends change and go in and out of relationships, but we all seem never to get older... just timeless. But with Claire, I can see her changing and am surprised at how much she changes, physically and developmentally. I can actually see her changing and growing. Adn ti is going so fast. I would never ask for her to stay small, because that would be robbing her of what God wants for her, and who He wants her to be. No, I want her to grow. I just want to realise every moment and glean all I can from what God is showing me and teaching me so I can be prepared for Claire's future. I think that's my prayer for right now. Currently listening : Anthem of Our Dying Day By Story of the Year Release date: 21 September, 2004 5:48 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

February 17, 2006 - Friday I think Banquo said it best... So, I was on my way home tonight form work, when I got to thinkin about my ways home from the school bus as a kid. I pass a lot of these kids as I'm doing my errands, and I want to tell you, yes, I was that kid who thought that if he pulled his hands into his coat, they became guns. Not just any guns.. the kind that went through the anti-gun spray. And to note, I was also that kid who would sometimes put his backpack on the front so I could become, yes, a mighty transformer. I don't know how that happened, but it did and I was. No, I was not Optimus Prime, but I did turn into a cool car. I also, remember, one time, I threw a snowball at a kid who was picking on a freind of mine, and I missed, and instead it landed in the back pack of an innocent bystander. I had to go to the Principal's office, the bully did not. But I think back to a point. Ah, those carefree days, when I was more worried about other things than I am nowadays. I think thats its amazing that God had all these days in mind when I was going through those days, somewhat oblivious to Him beyond the flannelboard in the Sunday School room. Amazing. He saw Heather then, too. And us together. ANd then Claire. Kinda cool. Kinda creepy. And back to being kinda cool. Currently listening : The Moon Is Down By Further Seems Forever Release date: 27 March, 2001 12:42 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

February 14, 2006 - Tuesday Valentine's Day Well, Valentine's Day is here. I never really liked the holiday until i became a Christian. Even before I started dating, after I found Christ, this was a great day. It's one of the few that we can truly call a Christian Day. Isn't that wierd? What with all the cupids you see, this day really honors a martyr who was marrying Christians under the riegn of pre-Christian Rome. This day isn't really so much of a romantic holiday anymore than St. Patrick's Day is about drinking. It's about the propogation of God's Word and the example set by His followers. I'm convinced that Christ really wants you to be his "Valentine"... a person willing to die for Him because anything less is unacceptable. Currently reading : The Moon Is Down By John Steinbeck Release date: 01 November, 1995 12:13 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

February 8, 2006 - Wednesday Something secret happend yesterday Something very wonderful happened to me yeaterday, but I will not tell a soul. Not yet, anyway. But I can say this.. My daughter is adorable. I'm breaking from the deep for a moment to tell you a funny story. Claire was walkin around and stuff today (she's getting very good at it), and diring juice frm her little cup. but. when she was close to the TV and a big head would appear (like it was close to her becuase it was bigger) she would offer the head soem of her juice... Isn't that adorable?! 12:45 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

February 5, 2006 - Sunday so, what are you saying?? Hey gang, I see by my "views" there are some of you out there that like to read my posts! Well, thats awesome! But I'm curious.. what do you think? Please, leave me a comment or a kudo! I'm just curious. You can even just write me a message. And if you really want to show love, then you can always subscribe... The Superbowl isn't over yet, and for those of you are wondering... I do not follow a team. And for those of you that do know... I'm suer you're surprised I'm even watchinhg the Bowl... but then, I'm writing this during it... Currently listening : A Rush of Blood to the Head By Coldplay Release date: 27 August, 2002 9:03 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

we had communion today So, I looked down in my hands today and really noticed the small plastic cup that held my grape juice. Such a small cup to hold, in my hands, the blood of Christ. I could crush it in my hands. Maybe too aware of how delicate the cup is, I hold it lightly with my fingerprints. Such a treasure stored in fake man-made acrylic - not worthy of containing this draught so precious. Yet, I can not swallow all it holds, a drop or two still remain, hugging its cup's edges. Currently reading : God in the Dock: Essays on Theology and Ethics By C. S. Lewis Release date: October, 1994 2:02 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

January 27, 2006 - Friday "Do you really call yesterday the past?" How long ago was yesterday that i already forget so much of it? How quickly my mind changes from the events of yesterday to today. Am I easily forgetting the lessons of yesterday only to face the hardship again today? AM i losing sight of the blessings already given only to look for the greener fields of today or even tomorrow? Are my yesterdays so bad? Lord, help me to remember. Though you graciously, even lovingly, forget my past sins and give me hope with each new sunrise, let me not forget my mistakes and mis-steps so i may walk better with You. Recall to me Your blessings and discipline so i can be a better follower of You. but do not allow me to wallow and linger in self-pity as a pig in his sty. Allow me to remember Your promises and strength, You are the Author of my life, and provider of my faith. "The lifter of my head." Amen Currently reading : The Picture of Dorian Gray (Modern Library Paperbacks) By Oscar Wilde Release date: 01 June, 1998 9:55 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

January 25, 2006 - Wednesday Are you really listening to the question? "The the baby's sister approached the princess. 'Should I go and find one of the Hebrew women to nurse the baby for you?' she asked. Exodus 2:4 Moses' sister is not asking a random question to Pharoah's daughter. She is asking if Pahroah's daughter will be different and go against her father's genocide - will she care for a baby boy who otherwise will die - could die - should die? She could easily dump the basket into the Nile and snuff out the life of the leader who would save thousands. Moses' life hung on that question posed by his sister. Becuase the daughter of Pharoah stood up to her own father, througha single act of rebellion of saving a single life, by seeing value in that life, saved thousands of men, women and children. What decisions am I making or not making? Whose life am I killing by the things I say, and by what I buy? Currently reading : The Picture of Dorian Gray (Modern Library Paperbacks) By Oscar Wilde Release date: 01 June, 1998 9:47 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

January 21, 2006 - Saturday Watching Claire Watching Claire is amazing. And boy is she strong! Her grip is amazing. Yesterday, we went to the McClinctock's for lunch after church. After we had our fill of chilli, we retired ti the living room. Claire was having a great time, playing and chasing their cat. We were really having a great time. Clarie was on the couch with Jess whn she started to tumble and fall off of the couch! But she caught herself on the side of the couch by ehrself! It was amazing! Like a gymnast, with skill, strength adn agility, she rigthed herself. And she holds on so tight. She loves to carry things around in her hand. But here's the curious thing: when given something else, or when she finds something of interestm she has to make a choice - wither to let go of the object she's already holding or keep on holding. The decision is worse when both her ahdns are full. She often tries to hold on to a lot of things at once. Or she'll try to pick up another item without letting go of the previous item. To her the solution is not to let go of whats holding her back. It's to try to do more or be frustrated. But she is only 11 months... how can she know better? Do I not have the same problem at 26 years of age? I carry so much around, feeling each item is valuable. In result, I'm making the most expensive items seem as cheap as the least. And the are some things I should just let go of. My prioritues get muddled with my happiness. I have fallen into a problem that Christ talks about - serving two masters. Father, point out my way to me, guide me in Your paths. Show me what i need to cut out of my life and what needs to increase, For my soul's sake, but also forthe sake of my wife and daughter. Amen Currently listening : Strange and Beautiful By Aqualung Release date: 22 March, 2005 9:36 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

January 20, 2006 - Friday The glory of the Transfiguration Christ is the culmination of our hope and faith. In Him we find assurance of the faith we have, and the hope we long for. Christ's Transfiguration is surrounded by His death... the hardest thing He had to do on earth. In His sorrow, He was made brilliant by the comfort and strength of His Father. What was I worying about again? Currently listening : The Mission Bell By Delirious? Release date: 27 December, 2005 8:58 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

January 18, 2006 - Wednesday faded watercolour Well, deep reminiscing has plunged me through cool waters. I have to wake up sometimes not to reality, but to the present. I get so caught up in the past that those memories seem more real to me sometimes than my present. I'm aware of my surroundings, but am unaware of the people around me. Its odd, and I'd hate to think I'm the only one who does this. I would also hate to think that my past really is more real to me than the now. I'm wasting prescious time lamenting and laughing over past jokes, that I'm not really enjoying the company I keep. Mayeb thats why i get so bummed when friends leave. I'm just collecting them to help me remember good old times. A lot like teh crazy old actress on Sunset Blvd... surrounding myself with old pictures to make me forget I've gone forward into uncharted and unfriendly territories. Myabe what i need is a bucket of cold water poured over my head. Or, I just need to look up with eyes open, and not glazed. 11:30 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

January 5, 2006 - Thursday Parousia I am beginning to understand the true meaning of "Parousia" - being caught up with Christ when He returns - during these last couple times of worship. As we have times of worship I feel as though I'm being lifted up. I am indeed being caught up in the Spirit of Christ in His coming. And if this is just a taste, then what will it be like on that day and in that moment?! 12:00 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

Psalm 4 Who can give me greater plaesure than You, Lord? What is giving me greater pleasurer than You? It is idolatry and blasphemy to think anything can give me anything I lack. You, alone, give me the desires of my heart - You give me those desires and fuel my longing. Without You, I want - but with You I lack nothing save the wonder fo seeing You face to face, and that is fleeting. Psalm 4:7 "You ahve given me greater joy than those who have abundant harvests of grain and wine." Only God can keep me safe. Currently reading : The Kite Runner By Khaled Hosseini Release date: 27 April, 2004 8:58 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

January 4, 2006 - Wednesday Nashville is amazing This time in Nashville has been amazing. I've enjoyed being here so much. The city is beautiful anf so great. The people I've met here are wonderful. God is so awesome. In my family group of 9 we have so much in common personally, and relationally, The four of us, Derek, Tyler, Andrew and myself, have gotten along great and we are learning so much. 11:55 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

At passion 06, in Nashville... Where do I go from here? What can I do to keep the passion alive - this passion to change and to be changed? As long as I have breath, I want to seek hard after my God and be happy in the surety of my faith and His promises. I want to leave all of my past behind me, leave all of my "holes" alone, drop the shovel and cling to the kindness that leads to You and Your glory. Father, thank-you for the promise that Your mercies are new each morning. I want to start again. I want You more than life. Currently listening : How Great Is Our God By Passion Worship Band Release date: 12 April, 2005

Just some copy paste for catch-up sake

January 3, 2006 - Tuesday John Piper is brillaint I am just going to type the main point of John Piper's talks here. Hopefully it will make you think as much as it has made me think and praise! "The aim of God in creating the universe is to display the greatness of the glory of God's grace through the sufferring and death of Christ Jesus." 12:59 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

Claire is sick and I'm in Nashville Claire is sick - she has the flu and is vomitting just as Heather and I were. It breaks my heart that I am not there with her and Heather. I keep thiking of all the things I culd be doing to help Heather so she can sleep and do the things she needs to do. But is not the reason I am here is so that I can be better for them when i am there? 9:56 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

Still in Nashville... "Every tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire..." Lord, here is my prayer and my desire. I want to be a tree that you blossom and help me to produce fruit for Your infinite glory. I want my blossoms to shout your praises for You are the reason for me. I want to be satisfied in you, and in You alone. Help me in this endeavour. Help me, for Your name's sake, but also for the sake of those around me. Fill my mouth with words to help and to answer. Lord, because You are holy, I want You. Because You are love, I want You. Because You are not me, but are wholly other, I want You. Lord, because You are holy, I need You. Because You are love, I need You. Because You are not me, but are wholly other, I need You. Help me in my need. Find me as I seek You. How can I express myself without sounding as if it were all about me? You are the center. You are the life. 8:30 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

January 2, 2006 - Monday Passion 05: First session Louie had a great point tonight... amazing, and the man is brilliant, blessed by God, assuredly. From Jeremiah 2.... " When you are caught digging other wells, just put down the shovel. You don;t ever need to put dirt back in the hole - just put down the shovel." This is amazing to me. So many times, when I know I am doing something wrong, I follow through with it thinking how horrible I am. I just don't stop. But his words are freeing. Why, while knowing I am doing something wrong, do I ever need to try to cover up what I did, or try to "fix" it in my own ways. God's ways are higher than mine, and he is calling me to walk away from the sin that so easily ensnares me. I just have to put down the shovel. All of them. And especially the pick axe I use to loosen the dirt so the digging is easier. Currently listening : Porch and Altar By Charlie Hall Release date: 21 January, 2002 11:44 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

On Psalm 2 "Why do the nations rage? Why do the people waste their time with futil plans? The kings of the earth prepare for battle; the rulers plot together agasint the Lord and against His anointed One. 'Let us break their chains,' they cry, 'and free ourselves from this slavery.'" Where others find slavery, we find joy and freedom. But whats more, where they find their slavery is in their ownership of us; "let us break their chains". We as God's people became their burden. Why? Partly because there is truth in out life and action and thier truth looks like slavery to those who wrestle against it. Christ's body becomes a stumbling block and a point of contention. By destryingt our faith, they free themselves from measuring themsleves against us. By trying to prove us wrong, they make their actions seem nire normal. By belittling us, they find strength and power. But, oh oppressor, you are oppressed! 8:17 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

December 31, 2005 - Saturday Evoking a little Death Cab Current mood: blank Well, today is the last day of 2005, and I'm sure everyone wil post a blog today. Today is one of those days that makes you think about all the things that have happened in the past year, either in a) one of those Streisand "Memories" kind of ways, or b) in the "I'm gonna stick to my resolutions!" kinda ways. But I refuse to write such trite. If you think your whole life can change in an instant, you're either a poor planner or have no concept of true change. At least changing yourself... falling in love ( the rel kind, not teh girlfriend/boyfirend kind of junior high love), such as when you see your wife walking down the aisle to you, or when you first see your new born child, or when you realise the deoths our Father has gone to see you, then you change. The real kind, becuase you wnat to change not for yourself, but for them. You want to be better so that they can be better and so that you can be all you can for them. Come midnight, there will be no resolutions for me. Just the cold hard reality fo all the things I've yet to do for those I love. Currently listening : The Anatomy of the Tongue in Cheek By Relient K Release date: 28 August, 2001 11:24 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

December 29, 2005 - Thursday I don't mind telling you... Well, hello. I knwo its been a while, and nto much has happened around ehre recently. I do know that Christmas has passed with much melee adn excitement. And it was a good Christmas... we ahve to build a new room for all the toys my daughter got. It was a grand ole time. But I'll be honest, it just didn't seem liek Christmas. I still get excited and what not, but the feeling of Christmas is gone. I asscocuiate the smell of kerosene with Christmas and winter time because my parents had kerosene heaters in the house. It still can make me homesick at times. but what are the new scents and tastes of Christmas now? I don't know. Maybe I'm still looking for the association and not the realisation. Like the shephards who found Christ that morning, I tell lots of people about it, but what ahppens years from now? You don't really ever ehar what ahppened to those Shephards or the Wise men. Did they look in the heavens for a new star to guide them, or for Angels to come visting? Did they search their dreanms for meanings? Or did they celebrate once a year and remember that one time in their lives when they felt like they had purpose and felt like they belonged? 10:43 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

December 8, 2005 - Thursday today is the last thursday of my known life Today is the last thursday I will ever have classes as an undergrad. My journey through school is almost done. And last night I ahd that dream.. you know the one where you've gone througha whole semester and you forgot to go tot hat one class that you somehow just didn't see on your schedule. Yeah, that one. And tonight... well tonight I am going to see the sneak preview of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe! To say I'm excited would be a vast understatement. Currently listening : The Artist in the Ambulance By Thrice Release date: 22 July, 2003 10:15 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

November 30, 2005 - Wednesday Almost done Current mood: happy So, I'm trying really hard to fight off the bad bought of Senioritis... I ahve only a week left of classes before Finals... and then I'm done with ym undergrad. Its so weird to think where I was when I started my college experience. And now, I'm done. Finally. Its time to party like it's 2999! Yeah! That, and The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe is coming out!!! ¿¿Could this year be any better?? Currently reading : Basics of Biblical Hebrew Grammar By Gary D. Pratico Release date: 01 September, 2001 10:48 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

November 17, 2005 - Thursday Love // Faith If the love of God taught us through the actions of Christ how to love, does not God's own faithfulness to His creation teach us faith? How can we have faith without God first being faithful to us? Currently listening : The Fires of Life By Cool Hand Luke Release date: 25 May, 2004 12:56 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

November 16, 2005 - Wednesday Dogs love cats When I was a kid, I used to think that dogs were boys and cats were girls, and they got married and had litters of kittens and puppies. It just made more sense. Ahhh, life was so much more simple then, and it didn't involve making sense, because it just did. 12:10 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

November 15, 2005 - Tuesday frown...smile...frown...mouth agape... smile... So, I'm watching this girl fall asleep in my first class today... its distracting. SO much so, that I start to wacth ehr adn take notes on what she is doing. It's like I'm sort of anthropolgist, studying the behaviours of some new culture. Eyes look abit puffy and yet stretched shut, they take on a reddish/purple hue. She rests her head on a propped hand only after failed attempts to just stay awake. SMall, jitterings and flutterings - eyebrows and mouth are the key to this dance. When eyebrows slide down, mouth droops and then the head slouches and tilts down to her chest. When she realises she is falling asleep, she smiles, eyebrows go upward and she tries to maintain the appearance that she is in control of her body. Her body is slowly sliding down in her seat. Being more relaxed, she is now allowing her head to rest on her shoulder a bit. She is going to try to write to stay awake - maybe this will do it. PLays with her hands... rubs her face... it all becomes a cycle.... frown...smile..frown...smile...frown...mouth agape...smile... staying awake is hard when you're breathing like someone who is asleep. Currently listening : X&Y By Coldplay Release date: 07 June, 2005 12:51 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

fade to black (slowly close your eyes) I wonder what my life would have been like if I had pursued acting full-time. As a career even. I know that I am not going to, now, but I wonder what if? I did a lot fo the thespian thing in high school. a lot of it. It was my sport (stop chuckling). I also walk by Men's Health magazines and wonder if the guys on the front actually eat... or date. I just see them working out a lot. Maybe they benchpress their dates. hmm, weird. I have thought that this spring I would take the oppurtunity to lookinto local theatre (what there is in Harrisburg (a vapid wasteland of the arts(not including the Farm Show, of course))). I guess we'll see what I have time for. Do people actually get paid for it? Currently listening : Friction, Baby By Better Than Ezra Release date: 13 August, 1996 12:33 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

November 12, 2005 - Saturday hey, I can drive very good, for an American Hey! I got my car back yesterday! YEAH!!! Its an amazing thing, this getting back our car. So much stress is gone. Time that was once gone has now returned. I don't have to walk home anymore. Huh, I don't have to walk home anymore. So I guess I really gotta start settin my mind to bein more intentional about what i do with my time. Currently reading : Shopgirl By Steve Martin Release date: 05 September, 2001 12:49 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

November 7, 2005 - Monday Screaming is good, as long as its directed at no one Current mood: crushed Well, I have had a couple of weeks. These are the kind that you feel each day as one step closer away form the last, which you thank God, but you realise that there is a whole day to get through. Its one fo those moments that last two to three weeks and you see no end in sight. I've cut back my hours at the Robin to only work three nights a week. This means lots of things and I;m not sure how to deal. I know that its probably a good thing, but by doing this, I feel like I have set things back a milion years. Where once I was so close to being done with school, now I feel a huge distance. And its never really about the classes I need, its usually about teh money. How can I continue to be so close to thigns and yet be so far away? This end has been dangling in fornt of me for so long... and now all Iw ant to do is scream. Sceam out to God, hoping that He hears me and takes my prayers seriously. (Yes, I know He does, but I want Him to really know how I feel). It is seldom that I have felt this helpless and alone. I go, day by day, knowing the promises He ahs for me, and knowing that He ill never give more of anything than I can bear... but really, its close this time around. I didn't scream tonight on my way home. I could've. My ride forgot me, again. And I didn;t want ot wake Heather or inconvenience anyone else, so I walked home... and studied my Hebrew the whole way. But what i really wnated to do was just sit down, scream, and then go to bed. But I still ahev work and studying to do, so bed is not for a while. Currently listening : Vheissu By Thrice Release date: 18 October, 2005