these last days...

Well, it goes around. Most know this cycle but only a couple can really call it a struggle. Most just call it life and most would just succumb. But I'm called to be something different. Right?
I rise up but I fall, and then I walk a bit in the Light, knowing thats where I should be. but I knowingly turn away. its my choice, and I'm aware of it. Yet, it's always the same pattern. I am left alone - rather I leave Your sight to go to places I know I shouldn't, and look at things I know I shouldn't.
And to what end? Where will this all lead me except from the safety of my Saviour's arms and eyes. It is there I am safe and it is there I am truly wanted.
But how willingly I trade my trip to the shore for mudpies. I know the truth but find it hard to apply to my life - and so easily I try to fit others through it, as if they are play-doh and Christ is that molding machine. How can I possibly lead others where I so easily run away from?
I just need to stay focused on the path set before me, knowing the truth and pursuing "hard after You".